Tag: family

No Isn’t a Bad Word

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Photo by Ahmed

In the middle of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says something almost shockingly simple: “Let your ‘Yes’ be yes and your ‘No,’ no.” He’s speaking into a culture where people used oaths to make their words sound more believable. Swearing by heaven meant one thing. Swearing by earth meant another. Swearing “by God” was the ultimate guarantee. It was a whole system built around managing trust because everyday speech wasn’t reliable.

Jesus steps into that and essentially says, “Stop performing. Stop manipulating. Stop trying to make your words sound more true than they are. Just tell the truth.” He’s not banning legal oaths. He’s not being rigid. He’s calling His followers to integrity — the kind of integrity where your everyday yes and no are so trustworthy that you don’t need to dress them up with promises or emotional guarantees. This is holiness in its simplest form: a heart made whole by grace, expressed in a life that is honest, simple, and aligned.

Scripture has always tied holiness to truthfulness. Psalm 15 describes the kind of person who can dwell in God’s presence as one “who speaks truth from the heart.” Colossians 3 calls us to “put off falsehood” because we’ve “put on the new self.” Zechariah 8 paints a picture of a restored community where people “speak the truth to each other.” Truthfulness isn’t a side issue — it’s part of the life God forms in us.

And yet, “no” is one of the hardest truths for us to speak. Even though “no” is a complete declarative sentence — one word, no emotional freight attached — most of us don’t experience it that way. From childhood, we’re taught, often without anyone meaning to, that “no” is a bad word. A toddler says “no,” and we correct them. A child says “no,” and we discipline them. A teenager says “no,” and we accuse them of disrespect. So we grow up believing that “no” creates conflict, disappoints people, threatens relationships, and should be avoided.

Because of that, we learn to hide from it. We say yes when we’re tired. We say yes when we’re scared. We say yes when we know full well we won’t follow through. We say yes because we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings — only to hurt them more later when we back out, disappear, or make excuses. A dishonest yes becomes a form of bondage. It’s lying — even if we didn’t intend it to be. And once we lie, we feel pressure to lie again to protect the first lie.

This is exactly the cycle Jesus is addressing. When our yes and no lose their weight, we start adding verbal padding: “I promise,” “Honestly,” “I swear,” “I swear to God.” Those additives only exist when our words can’t stand on their own. Jesus is calling us back to simplicity, to truth, to freedom.

This has become real for me in the last season of my life. I’ve learned that I have to be far more intentional about my responses when people ask things of me. I’m a full‑time bi‑vocational pastor with a family. My life is full — beautifully full — and that means my time, energy, and emotional bandwidth are not unlimited. For years, my knee‑jerk reaction was to say “yes,” “sure,” or “absolutely” without pausing to consider whether I actually had the margin to follow through. I wasn’t trying to deceive anyone. I was trying to be kind. I didn’t want to disappoint people or seem unavailable. I didn’t want to hurt feelings.

But the truth is: I said yes when I didn’t mean it. And that yes became a lie. A dear friend finally called me to account — gently, honestly, lovingly. They helped me see that my quick yeses were unintentionally causing harm. I was overcommitting, underdelivering, and stretching myself thin in ways that hurt others, my family, and myself.

So now, I’m learning a new rhythm. I try — imperfectly — to pause. To ask for time. To check with my family. To look at my work calendar. To evaluate my emotional state. To discern whether I can give myself away without breaking something inside me. I want my yes to be a real yes — “yes, I’m all in.” And I want my no to be a clean no — “no, I don’t have the ability to do that right now.”

“No” is not negative. It’s not rejection. It’s not a commentary on my love or care. It’s simply a statement about the state of my life in that moment. This is holiness in real time — not perfection, but alignment. A heart made whole by grace. A life where truth is not something we perform but something we live. A dishonest yes fractures us. A clean no keeps us whole. A dishonest yes damages relationships. A clean no protects them. A dishonest yes steals from our families. A clean no honors them. Jesus isn’t trying to make us rigid. He’s trying to make us real.

So here’s the practice I’m learning. Pause before responding. You don’t owe anyone an instant answer. Give yourself space to breathe and think. Check your real capacity. Look at your calendar. Talk to your family. Pay attention to your emotional state. Your humanity is not an inconvenience. Tell the truth kindly: “Yes, I can do that,” or “No, I’m not able to take that on right now.” Short. Clear. Honest. Trust that “no” is not unloving. It’s not rejection. It’s not selfishness. It’s not a lack of care. It’s simply truth. Let your words be enough. No padding. No promises. No emotional gymnastics. Just truth spoken in love.

A life of honest yeses and honest nos is a life of integrity, freedom, and Christlike love — a life where your words are enough because your heart is whole.

And this is the freedom Jesus is offering. Not a burden. Not a rule to perform. A way of living that keeps us honest, keeps us whole, and keeps us grounded in the kind of love that doesn’t need to pretend.

Please help me share the good news of Jesus and how He can change your life, and our world!

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Come back and visit at ListenLearn.Live Ministries

Love Fiercely, but Hold Loosely

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Photo by Daniel Pérez

There is a kind of love Jesus calls us to that feels both beautiful and terrifying. A love that is wholehearted, self‑giving, and without favoritism. A love that doesn’t wait for people to earn it. A love that doesn’t shrink back when relationships get complicated or painful. A love that keeps showing up even when the story takes a turn you never wanted. A love that looks like Jesus kneeling on the f

loor, towel in hand, washing the feet of the one who would betray Him. “Having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end” (John 13:1). Jesus washed Judas’ feet. He loved fiercely — but He never clung.

And that’s the tension we’re invited into: loving people with the fullness of Christ while holding them with open hands. God alone is the center. God alone is constant. God alone holds the outcomes of our lives. Every relationship — no matter how precious — is a gift, not a god.

I’m not writing this from a distance. I’m writing this in the middle of real loss, real heartbreak, and real relational unraveling — the kind of season where loving people fiercely and holding them loosely isn’t a concept, it’s survival. And I know I’m not the only one. Our church family, our community, and our world are full of people trying to love well while watching relationships fracture, shift, or disappear. This tension is not theoretical. It’s where many of us are living right now.

And here’s the truth we rarely admit: when people sit in God’s place, we cling. We cling because we’re afraid — afraid of losing them, afraid of being alone, afraid of not being enough. We call it love, but underneath it is fear. And fear‑based attachment is not love. It’s bondage. Scripture says, “There is no fear in love… perfect love drives out fear” (1 John 4:18). When fear rules the heart, love becomes distorted. We grip relationships too tightly. We bend ourselves into shapes God never asked of us. We tolerate what wounds us. We silence our convictions. We lose our ability to hear God because we’re too busy trying to keep someone close. Clinging is not Christlike love. It’s a sign someone has taken a seat that belongs only to God.

But when God is the One we cling to, everything shifts. We are no longer driven by fear of loss or controlled by the need for approval. We are no longer paralyzed by the thought of someone walking away. Jesus said, “Seek first the Kingdom of God…” (Matthew 6:33). When God is first, relationships stop being idols and start being blessings. We can love people fiercely because our identity isn’t tied to their response. We can hold them loosely because our security isn’t tied to their presence. Only when God is in His rightful place are we free to love as Jesus did — freely, generously, sincerely, without manipulation or fear.

Photo by Sergio Zhukov

One of the biggest obstacles to loving like Jesus today is something Scripture describes in principle: co‑dependency — relying on others for what only God can give. Paul asks, “Am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God?” (Galatians 1:10). We live in a world that constantly tells us what matters — image, success, productivity, popularity. And if we’re not careful, we start shaping our relationships around those values instead of the values of the Kingdom. John warns us, “Do not love the world… The world and its desires pass away” (1 John 2:15–17). When the world’s voice becomes louder than God’s voice, we lose the ability to think, act, and love like Jesus. We become distracted, reactive, spiritually disoriented. We start loving people for what they give us, not for who they are in God’s eyes. Co‑dependency is not fierce love. It’s fear wearing the mask of loyalty.

Jesus shows us a different way. He withdrew to pray when crowds demanded more of Him (Luke 5:15–16). He refused to be controlled by others’ expectations, even from His own family (John 7:1–6). He stayed focused on His mission, even when people begged Him to stay where He was (Luke 4:42–44). He let people walk away when His teaching was too hard for them (John 6:66–67). And He entrusted Himself to no one because He knew the human heart (John 2:24–25). Jesus loved with His whole heart — but He never clung. That is the freedom He invites us into.

When we cling to relationships God is loosening, they become heavy. When we force connections God is not sustaining, they become draining. When we try to hold people in place, we end up carrying a weight we were never meant to bear. Paul acknowledges this reality: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18). You can love. You can forgive. You can show up. But you cannot force closeness, connection, or continuity. Forced relationships are burdensome. Real love — God‑centered love — is life‑giving.

When God is the center, relationships become what they were meant to be: gifts to enjoy, not idols to protect; people to love, not outcomes to manage; fellow travelers, not sources of identity; blessings to steward, not anchors to cling to. Paul captures this beautifully: “Let your love be sincere” (Romans 12:9). Sincere love is free. It is honest. It is unforced. It is rooted in God, not in fear. And it is only possible when our hands are open.

So love fiercely — the way Jesus loved. Serve generously. Forgive freely. Show up wholeheartedly. But hold loosely — trusting God with the shape, length, and outcome of every relationship. Because only when people are in their right place, behind God, can we truly enjoy them. Only when our hearts are anchored in Him can our love be life‑giving instead of burdensome. Only when God is the center can our relationships be what He intended them to be.

Love fiercely. Hold loosely. Cling only to the One who never leaves.

Please help me share the good news of Jesus and how He can change your life, and our world!

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Come back and visit at ListenLearn.Live Ministries

Reach Out!

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This morning, while clearing out old drafts, I came across this post that for some reason never got published. While it may seem out of date, I wanted to bring it forward. We may have come through the pandemic, but we are still feeling the effects of a very changed world. Changed for many reasons that I don’t think I need to name. This blog was written on a bad day of work, virtual schooling, endless laundry, and wriggly children, but the basic premise remains the same.

During challenging times, I call upon the Church to reach out to their communities, and for communities to reach out to the Church.

January 21, 2021

Today was a challenging day. It kind of reminded me of the book Alexander and the terrible horrible no good very bad day. One of the days where it seems that Murphy’s proverbial law was reigning supreme and whatever could go wrong did. The best I could do was to make a late day cup of coffee and step outside for a few deep breaths and to enjoy a stolen moment of quiet and calm.

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”  1 Thessalonians 5:18

While I was outside watching the clouds roll by on a mostly rainy day, I began to think of how other parents might be handling this world we are living in today. If we’re lucky, we’re still employed, we may have children either completely or partly virtually schooled from home, we are more than likely under some kind of COVID-19 protocol that limits our ability to interact with friends and family.  We are struggling to be a parent, employee, teacher, principal, housekeeper, chef, caregiver, peacemaker, friend, wife, husband, son, daughter, brother, or sister. While some of this is a natural response to who we are, a lot of it is a result of circumstances far out of our control, and certainly never expected or planned.

In the middle of thanking God for his incredible provision to my family during this time, it occurred to me that knowing everyone is in the same boat, doesn’t really make it easier. So many parents are struggling right now to find balance, to be the best they can be, and to try and keep everything under control in an incredibly chaotic time. Families need help in what seems to be a groundhog experience of Alexander’s very bad day.

I want to issue a challenge, more like a suggestion really. I have been reading and hearing stories of churches and church families that have begun outreach ministries to their communities with the sole purpose of providing support, resources, and relief to families who may be on the brink of exhaustion. They are turning their fellowship halls into virtual classrooms staffed by volunteers who want to help. They are providing virtual tutoring services from their homes, counseling services, lunchtime meals on wheels and after school bible studies. The church is uniquely positioned to provide support and resources during this time, “Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.“ Philippians 2:1-4

I have continued to believe that God, during this pandemic is capable, and desirous of bringing about revival in His church. While we may feel limited in our ability to evangelize the world, He is not limited by anything. “I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted.” Job 42:2

Parents, I encourage you to reach out to your churches and ask for help. Churches, reach out to the parents in your congregations, find a local school and ask where there is need. We are so much better together than we are divided. We can accomplish so much more when we work together than when we’re fighting one another. Our children need us, our communities need us, we need to stop looking outside for someone or something to fix what’s broken. We have what we need to care for each other.

Please help me share the good news of Jesus and how He can change your life, and our world!

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Come back and visit at ListenLearn.Live Ministries

 

Christian Begins with Christ

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Being a Christian begins with remembering who God is, and what he has done for you.

“Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations.” Deuteronomy 7:9

I have been wrestling with how to share Jesus with those who are struggling in dark times, when they have lost hope and see no way forward. My knee jerk reaction is to tell them that Jesus is the hope they are looking for. Jesus is the answer to the problems of our sin sick world. Jesus brings healing, restoration, joy, and freedom. My words fall flat as blank stares, filled with pain, look back at me. Are these the same faces that Jesus observed as he ministered across Judea?

“And Jesus went throughout all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.  Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few;  therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.” Matthew 9:35-38

This week I listened to a message about praying for laborers (Matthew 9:35-38). The need is so great in our world, people are lost and hopeless. The harvest is indeed plentiful, you can see it in the faces of those who come to the church for food, and clothing. You can hear it in their voices as they share their troubles, hopelessness has a tone. It is the dull drumming of a world that has become deaf to the needs of others. It is the endless cries for help we no longer hear. The overwhelming need of people today across the world can easily become a cacophony of noise so overwhelming that we choose to tune it out for fear it will overwhelm us. The world needs a savior.

The world has a savior, Jesus.

“For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” Luke 19:10

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” John 10:10

“ I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Jesus came to seek and save the lost, so that we may have life abundantly, that we may have peace in tribulation because he has overcome the world.

We cannot overcome all the hopelessness that exists in the world today. We cannot fix everything that is broken, we cannot fill every need, and we cannot be the savior of each hurt person we meet. When we turn our focus on who we are and what we can do, we will drown in a sea of despair. Without Christ we can do nothing.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5

Apart from Christ we can do nothing. Everything begins and ends with Him. Trying to fix the world, fix my community, fix my family, fix my neighbor out of my own broken jar of clay is like trying to bail out my boat with a bucket full of holes. It may feel like I am helping, and I am working hard, but the boat is going to sink, taking me along with it.

“Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations.” Deuteronomy 7:9

God is who he says he is. He is faithful and steadfast in his love for us. We are not called to save the world; we are called to obey him… How do we do that, you ask?

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34-35

Being a Christian begins with remembering who God is, and what he had done for you, and loving others as he loves us.

“We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.” 1 John 4:19-21

The world doesn’t need another savior. We are loved, redeemed, saved for this life and all eternity. We have been given all we need (2 Peter 1:3) for this life to live how He has called us, to be Christ to those who need us, to love others as He loved us.

I challenge you (and me) to approach each day with the knowledge of who God is and his love for you. Then, from that over abundant fountain of love pour out onto those around you. approach everyone you meet with God’s heart; serve the needs of the people He puts in front of you. It is not our job to save the world, Jesus did that already. It is our job to meet people where they are, love them as they are, and walk with them to the foot of the cross.

I pray that today that the Holy Spirit will give us an opportunity to meet the needs of someone. That he would divinely appoint opportunities for us to share Christ’s love with someone, and that we would respond with the same love that Christ first showed us.

Please help me share the good news of Jesus and how He can change your life, and our world!

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Come back and visit at ListenLearn.Live Ministries

Prayer is a Privilege

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According to Oxford dictionary the definition of prayer is, “a solemn request for help or expression of thanks addressed to God.” I’ve also read, “In the Bible prayer is worship that includes all the attitudes of the human spirit in its approach to God…This highest activity of which the human spirit is capable may also be thought of as communion with God, so long as due emphasis is laid upon divine initiative. A man prays because God has already touched his spirit.”

A man prays because God has already touched his spirit. When someone asks you to pray for them the Spirit has moved, and is stirring your spirit to respond. A request for prayer is not random, coincidental, lucky (or to some unlucky), it is not an obligation, or chore, it is a divine appointment. Knowing this, why are we hesitant about responding?

We’ll say, “I’ll remember you in my prayers (later)”, “I’ll be praying for you (later)”, “I’ll lift up you and your family, situation, struggle, etc., (later)”. Then we go on about our business, hoping to remember to pray for them the next time we make time, to go before the Lord. The best way to remember what you have to do, is to do it before you have a chance to forget it.  When someone asks us to pray for them, it is the Holy Spirit moving them, and giving us the opportunity to be the hands and feet of Jesus to that person, in that moment.

Don’t waste this precious gift of appointed by the Spirit, that is practiced by the Son, and glorifies the Father. Every time someone asks for you to pray for them, they are placing their hearts in your hands. Clasp it tightly, weave your fingers together, and bring them before God in that very moment. Honor the movement of the Spirit in your life and do what Jesus would do.

How many times have you told someone you would pray for them, to later forget. I know, life gets busy, we get distracted, there are a dozen reasons that we can give, it’s happened to most of us. We need to believe that those moments are precious gifts. They are Spirit lead appointments that were (are) orchestrated for us to demonstrate the Father’s love for others.

Recently I have been walking with a family through the worst of times, they were losing a child. This young man was one of the teens from my youth group for years. I had gotten to know this young man and his younger brother, my heart was broken for them. There was nothing I could do to fix, repair, replace, restore their hearts. All I could do was pray.

A couple weeks ago I received a call, “Pastor Betsy, please come!” I went. Walking into the hospital that day I knew what was awaiting me, I knew what was awaiting this family, as I had walked this road myself with our own daughter many years before. I prayed walking toward the building that the Holy Spirit would give me the strength to walk through the doors, the ability to speak life and love into their lives, to check my own emotions at the door and be fully present with them. And He did just that.

The Spirit moved that day, I was able to be there as a friend, pastor, and sister in Christ. This was a divine appointment, and although it was heart breaking, there was no other place I wanted to be. I had the Spirit appointed privilege to be present as this family prepared to say goodbye, and their son joined Jesus in eternity.

Every opportunity to lift up a person, a situation (which is almost always about people), is an opportunity to be Christ to someone, for someone, on behalf of someone. Jesus often went off to pray, (Matt 14:22-23). He demonstrates for us the importance of interceding with and for others, in Romans 8:31-39 we read that Jesus is at the right hand of God interceding for us. Jesus is He who is perfect but also knows fully what it means to be human. So, He is the perfect advocate for us to the Father. He intercedes for us continually (Hebrews 7:23-25).

What does this mean for us? It means that to be a disciple of Jesus Christ we ought to do what he does. Prayer is an opportunity for us to tangibly advocate and intercede on behalf of our brothers and sisters. Prayer is an opportunity for us to be in relationship with our creator (that’s mind blowing in and of itself). God created the very voices we speak with, their tone, their resonance, their tenor, he wants to hear from you! It brings his heart joy when we come before him with our praise, with our fears, with our troubles, and especially on behalf of others.

He doesn’t care about fancy words, or pithy statements. He doesn’t care what language you speak. He doesn’t care where you are; in your car, shower, on your knees, in the middle of a shouting match with your kids. He wants to be an acknowledged presence in your life that you can turn too at any point in time.

I shared with you recently about my monthly dinner with some of my sisters in Christ and the wonderful conversation we had. At the end of that dinner, as the dining room was filling up, we didn’t actually notice we were so engrossed in our conversation, we prayed. Each one of us, praying over the others, about what we shared, to know Jesus more, to grow in his grace and love. We prayed, and we called on his name, and when we were done, we noticed that this little dining room had gone quiet. People who had been waiting for us to leave so they could sit, just stared. We apologized for taking so long as we quickly gathered our things, “no don’t rush on our behalf, really we can wait till you’re done.”

Prayer also changes those around you. When others see you stopping your life to lift up a brother or sister to the hands of the Father, they take notice, they take account, they get convicted, seeds are planted, and they are changed.

Prayer is a privilege, a divine appointment orchestrated by the Holy Spirit for the benefit of many. Don’t miss your opportunities to partake of God’s Sovereign plan for your life and the lives of those around you.

Please help me share the good news of Jesus and how He can change your life, and our world!

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Come back and visit at ListenLearn.Live Ministries

Thoughts From the Car Wash

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I was talking with a group of friends on Monday as we had dinner, and one of them made the comment that they are starving to better know and understand God’s word. In fact, I believe the comment she made was that she is ‘ravenous’ to know more.  Which is ironic in that it was also how we approached our incredible BBQ dinner from Smokey Mo thank you very much!

As I drove home that night I continued to ponder her words and the depth to which her soul was crying out to know Jesus better, to know the living word better, to be filled with the Holy Spirit more completely. Nothing in this world is going to satisfy her, she wants only our Lord. I was convicted by her words, how many of us walk through our day to day lives, hungry for something but we can’t figure out what? Feeling like we’re missing something, longing to be satisfied but nothing in this world can fill us, so we search on in vain for something to fill a hole we can’t quite identify.

This morning, while sitting at the carwash, I pulled out my devotional and took advantage of the fact that no one was going to get their car washed at 7:30 in the morning, so I had the lobby all to myself. As I read through the message, I began thinking about how much I want to want God more than anything else. Truly I want him to the absolute center of my life and being. I want to know him more each day, I want to be all he wants me to be. It reminded me of how we feel (or at least I felt) the very first time we have a real crush, or a first love.

In those beginning days and weeks, we are obsessed with getting to know them, wanting to be near them all the time, talking on the phone, spending every moment together, being whatever they want you to be. We are so consumed (or at least I was) by the person that we lose ourselves in them. Talking for hours, never getting bored, thinking of them all the time. Imagining ways to make them happy and how to please them. A feeling so all consuming and compelling that nothing else matters, not family, or friends, or school, or anything else in all creation is as important as they are, then I thought about what Jesus said is the most important commandment, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.” (Matthew 22:37-38) We all have the capacity and desire to love like that, it’s what or who we chose to love that usually throws us spinning off course.

Unfortunately for most of us, the ‘love’ soon fades, people are flawed, broken, unable to return or maintain that kind of love with one another. We’ll get tired, conflicted, other pastures look greener, we feel neglected, or taken advantage of. Sometimes we’re the ones neglecting because the feeling that was so powerful at first has somehow lost its power.

We wonder where we went wrong, often try too hard for too long to keep the relationship afloat, ultimately it doesn’t. There is only one thing that can fulfill that level of all consuming, relentless, audacious love…God, in the person of Jesus Christ. People will let us down, wander off, get bored, lose interest, and move on. Jesus never will. He returns our imperfect, flawed, broken, misplace, selfish love with his perfect, all fulfilling, all-consuming love. He will never get bored, stray, change, forget, wander off, let down, or disappear. He is obsessed with loving us, we are his joy. “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” (Hebrews 12:1-3) We are the reason he went to the cross.

I don’t know about you, but I want to love Jesus like that. Like my first crush, completely obsessed with knowing him, showing my love, being who he wants me to be, and living to please him. Only then can I fulfill my purpose in life. That’s why I was created, that’s why you were created, and it is only when we are fulfilling that purpose in our lives that we can be whole.  Not when we are obsessively trying to please creation; man, woman, children, job, school, country, or world, but only when our only concern is HIM and his purpose for our life.

“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.” (Philippians 1:9-11)

The Jesus shaped space in our hearts cannot be filled by anything else, nothing! No matter how hard you try to convince yourself…you will never truly be happy unless Jesus is in His rightful place in your life.

Please help me share the good news of Jesus and how He can change your life, and our world!

Like, share, comment, and add your email to receive blog posts, podcasts, and more!

Come back and visit at ListenLearn.Live Ministries

Following Christ isn’t Convenient

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It’s Saturday morning, you have a laundry list of ‘need to do’ items, right behind that is your list of ‘want to do’ items, then of course, there is the actual laundry to do…the phone rings. You’re in the middle of sorting dirty laundry and you grab your phone, you recognize the number and you have just a moment to decide if you answer or if you let it go to voice mail. Do I have time today to take the call, do I have time to talk or visit, or fulfill whatever request may come from the other end of the phone. In a split second you can think of 101 different legitimate reasons to swipe down, and just one to swipe up. 

“We must be ready to allow ourselves to be interrupted by God. God will be constantly crossing our paths and canceling our plans by sending us people with claims and petitions. We may pass them by, preoccupied with our more important tasks, as the priest passed by the man who had fallen among thieves, perhaps – reading the Bible.” (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together)

Christianity, being a Christ follower will always be inconvenient. It will be rare for the Lord to bring someone across your path where it will be easy, convenient, comfortable, and timely to serve as Christ to that person.  Christ calls us to step out and step up and be him in a broken and weary world. 

He sent his disciples out into the world to share the gospel under resourced, with little direction, to share the Gospel, “As you go, proclaim this message: ‘The Kingdom of heaven has come near.’ Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received; freely give. ‘Do not get any gold or silver or copper to take with you in your belts – no bag for the journey or extra shirt or sandals or a staff, for the worker is worth his keep…I am sending you out like sheep among wolves.” Matthew 10:7-16

He is going to send us out where we don’t want to go, with little in hand, to places unfriendly. Jesus said a great deal about what it will cost us to be his disciple. He didn’t mince words, and he didn’t sweeten it up, he told us it would be hard and take everything, and yet, we keep making excuses. 

“As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” He said to another man, “Follow me.” But he replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.” Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.” Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” Luke 9:57-62

“Large crowds were traveling with Jesus and turning to them he said: “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.” Luke 14:25-27

You swipe up, answer the call, stop what you are doing to lend a prayerful hand to someone in need. Then something incredible happens – from the depth of your weariness you receive the grace needed – to provide more than requested,  and demonstrate Christs love to someone who desperately needed it. You miraculously had the right words to say, the needed resources to provide, and the time required to be the hands and feet of Jesus.

The laundry is still there, your list of ‘to dos’ still needs to be done, but God allowed you to enter into the midst of the beautiful, the graceful, and the merciful. There will always be more to do in our lives, laundry, dishes, work, school, family obligations, shopping, and cleaning. Once we can accept that the endless list is endless, and there will always be more to do, we can let ourselves off the hook and focus on doing that which will make the most difference in God’s kingdom…spoiler alert…it’s not laundry. 

God cares about people and while Jesus told us that he knows what we need and that our Father in Heaven will provide for those needs, he is calling us to care about people like he does. When we do that, when we love his people the way he loves us, we get to enter into his kingdom, here on earth and our inheritance in heaven.

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink: When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for on of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'” Matthew 25:34-40

I get it, it’s challenging to weigh the needs of our lives and our family’s needs in this world against what we’re called to do and be as part of Christ’s kingdom. At the beginning of the article, I stated that we’ll have 101 reasons to swipe down and only one to swipe up. Well, I was wrong there are two reasons to swipe up the first is easy, WWJD (What Would Jesus Do), the second, well…if it were you on the other end of the phone, in need, weary, distraught, in need of assistance – wouldn’t you pray that someone answered?

Please help me share the good news of Jesus and how He can change your life, and our world!

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Something WAS burned in the Fire!

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“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword” Hebrews 4:12

During Monday Bible study, we read through Daniel Chapter 3. This was the second time that this group of amazing women read through this portion of God’s story. For many of us, we had read through before that as well. It is one of those great biblical stories that encourages us to live fearlessly in the face of opposition, secure in the knowledge of a sovereign God who is always with us.

This week something else stood out, that I had not noticed before. In my understanding of the story, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, were thrown into the furnace, and miraculously remained unharmed. In fact, the King observed that there were four in the fire not three, and one looked like a son of the gods.

“Then these men were bound in their cloaks, their tunics, their hats, and their other garments, and they were thrown into the burning fiery furnace. Because the king’s order was urgent and the furnace overheated, the flame of the fire killed those men who took up Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. And these three men, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, fell bound into the burning fiery furnace.” Daniel:21-23 (bold added by me)

The King, in his anger, had these three bound from head to toe and thrown into the fire. This wasn’t an ordinary fire, the furnace had been heated seven times hotter than normal, so hot, to get close meant to die. The ‘mighty men’ tasked with throwing them in died from the super-heated flames. But Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego didn’t die, even as those tasked with throwing them in burned, they remained unharmed. There is a lesson here as well for those who try to harm God’s people, but that’s not my point for today.

“Then King Nebuchadnezzar was astonished and rose up in haste. He declared to his counselors, “Did we not cast three men bound into the fire?” They answered and said to the king, “True, O king.” He answered and said, “But I see four men unbound, walking in the midst of the fire, and they are not hurt; and the appearance of the fourth is like a son of the gods.” Daniel 3:24-25 (bold added by me)

As I read this, I was absolutely dumbstruck. So much is made of the fact that Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were unharmed, unsinged, and untouched by the fiery furnace, “And the satraps, the prefects, the governors, and the king’s counselors gathered together and saw that the fire had not had any power over the bodies of those men. The hair of their heads was not singed, their cloaks were not harmed, and no smell of fire had come upon them.” Daniel 3:27 It was truly miraculous!

However, is it possible that in our excitement of God’s intervention, we missed something important? These three men were bound from head to toe and unable to walk, they were thrown into the fire. But the King saw them unbound, walking around in the midst of the fire with a fourth who has the appearance like a son of the gods. Not only was Jesus in the fire with them, but he also allowed those flames to burn away what bound them.

Let me say that again, Jesus was there in the fire with them, protecting them from harm, and removing that which bound them. God didn’t just save them from the fiery furnace, he freed them as well. Just as Jesus sacrifice on the Cross saves us from the condemnation we deserve, death; it also frees us from the destructive and oppressive hold that sin has on our lives.

“Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness. For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.” Romans 6:13-14 (bold added by me)

This is a wonderful story of salvation, a story of obedience and faith. It is an example of living and ‘even if‘ life, with our eyes firmly focused on Christ. It is also a beautiful example of what God will do for those who, ‘love him and are called according to his purpose.’

God has saved us through Jesus Christ. Part of that saving is for eternity, but it is also so that we can live free from the bondage of sin, in this life. The Apostle Paul says, “For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1

Christ didn’t sacrifice himself so that we could return to the lives we lived before, being bound up by the ills of this world. He sacrificed us so that not only will we spend eternity with him as co-heirs, we get to begin to enjoy that freedom, love, grace, peace, patience, kindness right here right now. The bonds of sin have been burned away! Make sure you don’t allow yourself to be bound up again.

Please help me share the good news of Jesus and how He can change your life, and our world!

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The Power of Your Words

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I am one of those people who almost never sleeps the night through. I toss and turn, (and somehow remain married after 21 years). I’ll wake up, roll over and try to go back to sleep. Often that proves to be more difficult than it should. My brain turns on and I’ll start thinking about work, kids, conversations I’ve had or meant to have. I’ll get anxious, frustrated, nervous and fearful. I’ve adopted a mantra that I pray when this happens, “Lord, things always look better in daylight.” Recently, during a difficult night, I made the most incredible discovery, my Bible app on my phone will read to me! Sometimes, you’ve just got to love (or at least appreciate) technology. Now when I go to bed instead of turning on my ocean or storm sounds, I’ll turn on my Bible. It’s hard to wake up anxious listening to the Word of God.

Monday night in one of my awake moments I heard a scripture that stayed with me. “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” (bold added) Colossians 4:5-6

Colossians is a beautiful letter and contains so much wisdom for living as a follower of Christ.

“But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 9 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.” (bold added) Colossians 3:8-10

“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (bold added) Colossians 3:17

I wrote not long ago about absolutes and how God uses them frequently. He is Absolutely Absolute. In fact, He uses words like every, always, everyone, all, whenever, and whatever. He doesn’t use words like some, most, sometimes, occasionally, or when it’s easy or convenient. God is absolute in who He is – – unswervingly God. Being created in His image, we are called to be likewise.

What does it mean to make the most of every opportunity with outsiders and for our conversations to always be full of grace and seasoned with salt so we can answer everyone? I noticed the It doesn’t matter who you are talking directly too or whom else may or may not hear. Do all our conversations with, or around people (including your comments, posts, likes and reactions on social media or anywhere online) conforms to God’s requirement? Are all our words uplifting and encouraging, to build up the body, or tear it down, do they point to Christ or the world?

Remember what Paul said, whatever you do in word or deed do it in Jesus’ name. What about that last watercooler conversation, or the waiter that got your order wrong, or the lady who cut you off while you were driving your kids carpool? Would the person/people listening hear Jesus in them?

I’ve mentioned before that I heard a pastor on the radio mention that people are more likely to watch how a Christian lives or listen to what they say, than they are to read the Bible. What are they learning about Jesus from us, what kind of witness are we presenting?

In Ephesians 4:29 Paul states, “ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

In each of the first three gospels Jesus is quoted as saying that it is not from the outside that a man can be defiled, speaking about the Levitical laws, it is from the inside. From the goodness of a man’s heart his mouth speaks, and from the evil in a man’s heart he does evil and thus defiles himself. Matt 12:36-37, Mark 7:20-23, Luke 6:45)Jesus own words testify to the importance of what comes out of our mouths.

Words have power. They have the power to hurt or to heal. They have the power to tear apart or restore. Hastily spoken words can have far reaching consequences to those around us, destroying relationships and our witness.

“But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” Acts 1:8

We are called to be Jesus’ witnesses in the world. To give testimony to who He is, what He’s done, how He’s worked in our lives. If our words, intentional or not, don’t speak to this it would be better if we don’t speak at all. I love the line from the old, animated Disney movie Bambi, where Thumper is being a bit of a gossip and his mother catches him and makes him repeat the advice he’d recently received from his father. “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all”.

If what comes out of our mouths is our witness of Jesus to those around us, are we paying enough attention to what we say? Not just when we’re out and about, but when we’re home with family, spending time with friends, at work, at church. Is what we say truly a reflection of what Jesus would have us say? What do our words say about Jesus?

Yes, it’s hard! At time it seems darn near impossible. Two more great Words from Paul’s letter to the Philippians.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (bold added) Philippians 4:8

And, the ultimate encouragement, “ I can do ALL this through him who gives me strength.” (bold caps added) Philippians 4:13

What we fill our minds and hearts with will come out in our words. What we read, watch, listen too, spend our time on, will all affect our heart and mind and from that the mouth speaks. I listen to the Bible so that the last and first thing I hear are the words of my Savior, that is how I combat the other stuff I’m bombarded with all day long.  We can’t fight this battle on our own, and it is only when we invite the Holy Spirit in that we can hope to tame our tongues.

Before you speak, especially when you are angry, hurt, frustrated, or anxious, ask for the Holy Spirit’s help, then ask if what you’re about to say is true, is it helpful, and is it necessary…I’d also add, does it bear a good witness for Christ?

We all struggle in this area, in an emotional moment it’s difficult to hit pause. However, if we all learn to do this, to really make it a priority, how much calmer, kinder, and loving would our world be? It would be much more like Jesus intends and we truly would experience more of His eternal kingdom here on earth.

Please help me share the good news of Jesus and how He can change your life, and our world!

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Thoughtless Forgiveness

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“So, as God’s own chosen people, who are holy [set apart, sanctified for His purpose] and well-beloved [by God Himself], put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience [which has the power to endure whatever injustice or unpleasantness comes, with good temper]; bearing graciously with one another, and willingly forgiving each other if one has a cause for complaint against another; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so should you forgive. Beyond all these things put on and wrap yourselves in [unselfish] love, which is the perfect bond of unity [for everything is bound together in agreement when each one seeks the best for others]. Colossians 3:12-14 AMP

I have been trying to count out how many times in scripture we are told to forgive others as God has forgiven us, or to forgive others so God in turn will forgive us. Forgiveness isn’t a recommendation in scripture but a command. We can’t claim to be a Christian and hold unforgiveness in our hearts.

“We know that we have come to know him if we keep his commands. Whoever says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person. But if anyone obeys his word, love for God is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in him:  Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did.” 1 John 2:3-6

As far as I can tell or have read…Jesus didn’t hold grudges.

Forgiveness is not something God does, it’s who He is. He doesn’t have to think about it, or decide to do it, it’s part of His character. God’s forgiveness is an expression of His lovingkindness. It doesn’t diminish His righteousness or hold back His justice.

Our God is a forgiving God. We are called to be equally forgiving.  I can already hear the heavy sighs as each of us consider those areas we hold on too. Deep hurts we can’t imagine letting go of areas we feel very entitled to cling too. Even though we know that the only person suffering from our unforgiveness is us. You heard me right, we willingly keep ourselves from receiving God’s forgiveness so that we can continue to hurt ourselves. Sounds silly when we say it like that, but it’s true.

Unforgiveness’ main victim is us. Please know that I am not trying to diminish any hurt that you may have experienced or make light of the pain you feel as a result. It is my deepest desire that you experience a freedom that can only be found through forgiveness. In Isaiah we hear a recounting by God of Israel’s transgressions, and in the midst of God’s expectations, He makes the most marvelous statement, “I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.” (bold added)  Isaiah 43:25

Matthew Henry comments on this verse, “as if the great God would teach us that forgiving injuries is the best way to make ourselves easy and to keep ourselves from being wearied with them.” Forgiveness is freedom! It allows us to move forward from our pain toward healing and restoration. Freedom from the bitterness and anguish that can taint every area of our lives.

As we continue to follow Jesus and allow ourselves to be transformed into His likeness by the Holy Spirit, forgiveness becomes part of who we are, not something we do. Yahweh Hesed is the closest name we have to Forgiving God. More specifically Hesed is translated as lovingkindness. Forgiveness, like mercy, compassion, and love, are characteristics of who God is, not what He does. He doesn’t need to think about forgiving, it’s in His nature. The Lord’s forgiveness is an expression of his character, and the more we reflect His character the more our forgiveness will manifest.

For many of us forgiveness is one of those words that can feel like a sucker punch, “how does that person who hurt me so deeply deserve my forgiveness”. I hear you! But let’s acknowledge, at the same time, the truth that none of us deserve forgiveness. None of us can earn forgiveness, “ for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” Romans 3:23.  Your forgiveness is not about the person who hurt you, it’s about reflecting God’s character in a way that allows you to move forward and be more like him.

Unforgiveness stunts our growth, it keeps us from forming healthy relationships, it holds us captive and keeps us from healing and restoration. It doesn’t have this effect on those who hurt us, it affects us. Not only are you keeping yourself from the blessing of God’s forgiveness, but you are also continuing to give control of your life over to those who have harmed you, giving them permission to continue to have power over your emotions, and actions.

Forgiveness is hard. A lifetime of bitterness, regret, and condemnation is harder. Scripture is clear, if we want the very best that God has for us, we have to be ready and willing to give the best to others. When asked what is the greatest commandment Jesus said, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40

We must first love God, to love Him is to know Him. Then we must love others as ourselves. Jesus defined neighbors as everyone else; those we like and those we don’t, those like us and those who are not. We can’t say we love those who we won’t forgive.

Forgiveness needs to become a characteristic of who we are, second nature. We should be inviting God into our everyday lives, to change us to be more like him so that we can let go of our hurts and forgive like He does. God will not tell us to do something we are incapable of doing, but He will ask us to do that which we can only do with Him.

Please help me share the good news of Jesus and how He can change your life, and our world!

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