Category: community

Doing life together

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Eph4“If one of us bleeds, we all bleed.” I was reminded recently by an amazing woman whom I love as part of my family, what it means to be part of the Church. In Acts 2 we get a very good look of what it was like to be part of Christ’s Church where the believers, “had all things in common.”

While I was in college, I stumbled (and I do mean stumbled) onto a group of people who introduced me to Inter Varsity Christian Fellowship. This family of like minded college students taught me, really for the first time, what it meant to live in Christian fellowship. We didn’t lock our doors, we ate each other’s food , we showed up uninvited and loved just being together. When one of us was in trouble, we were all there and stayed there till the problem was resolved. There was no need to small, or Goliath too big for this group to come together and pray out of existence.

This experience shaped my view of what Church is supposed to look like, what it means to be a family of believers, and to do life together. When I first moved to Tucson, I was additionally fortunate to find a church family, a church that became my second family. When my daughter got sick and was in the hospital (which was often) they were there in force, within hours. They’d bring food, they’d take turns each day giving me time to get home, shower and change clothes. They called, texted, emailed and annoyed the snot out of me…but I never felt alone, even when I was by myself.

I remember one particularly long hospital stay, I was about at a breaking point when I called my pastor and asked desperately if they could just, “pray Alex out of that hospital”. You know what happened…yup, within a few hours the elders of my church were there, Pastor Matt leading the way. I had gone downstairs for some coffee and when I came back up, her room was full of people, my people, holding hands around her bed praying.

When I saw them all there I was dumbfounded, and I actually asked, “what are you doing here”, Matt looked at me and quoted James 5:14, “Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord.” Alex went home the next day.

Scripture is very clear on how we should live life together, it’s more than clear, it’s specific; we however, complicate it. We want to fit our church lives into our ‘real’ lives. We chose our small groups and fellowship times around our social schedules. We serve when it’s convenient, we pray when we have time and we give according to our available budgets. What happened to going where we’re called, and praying without ceasing, and giving to God the first and best?

This week a friend of mine had an emergency. I received the call that she was on her way to the hospital…and then crickets. I was trying to figure out what to do when my dear friend reminded me that, when one of us bleeds we all bleed. I began to make arrangements for someone to pick up my daughter so I could go to the hospital, who was coming with me, who was calling everyone else to get them praying. One of us had a need, so we all needed to take action. For some it will be to pray, for others to make food, and others to help arrange schedules and provide respite. The fact is we each have a role to play in this thing we call life, and each role is equally important to the body.

This Sunday, pastor was preaching on Ephesians 4 and the gifts that God has given to each of His believers. Gifts that were given so that the body of Christ would be built up. “From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.” Ephesians 4:16

Each of us has a role to play in the lives of one another. A role that God created specifically for us to play. Not everyone is equipped to sit by a bedside, believe me I know, but everyone is equipped for something. Not being certain of your spiritual gift does not give you a pass; everyone can pray, anyone can prepare a meal or hold a hand. We are on this road together, and road trips are always better with family, because when trouble comes…and it will, I’d rather have my family around than be out there alone.

I’d love to hear from you. Come back and visit at “Connectthedotblog”.

 

Untitled blog

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I feel the need to take a break from my normal rants to share a burden I feel. Recently I read about a young pastor in California who committed suicide. He was in his 30’s I believe, a husband and father; a beautiful family photo accompanied the article. I was dumbfounded. How is this possible? How can a man, that man in the photo, a man who dedicated his life to serving God, chose to end his life?

I am well acquainted with the hardships and trials of this world; having lost both a husband in a tragic car accident and a daughter after a long and painful battle with cancer. You can’t go through life without experiencing some form of pain and loss; however I don’t believe it’s the pain and loss that is causing so many people in our world to choose to end their suffering…it’s the loneliness.

I get to work with a group of wonderful youth, and they have had more than their fair share of struggles. I watch in amazement as they pull themselves up and continue to move forward each day, it’s truly incredible the resilience they have. However, as they get older what I see is an increased sense of isolation. The more ‘connected’ they are, the less connected they feel. They have 438 friends on Facebook, 397 followers on Twitter and Instagram, but no one to pick up the phone and talk to when they need a listening ear. They post, text, snapchcat and tweet and dozens if not hundreds of people will give a thumbs up or a smiley face, but none are a familiar voice, hug, smile or shoulder.

As we continue to age and move into the ‘real world’ the isolation increases in corresponding measure to the pressures of life; succeed, make an impact, increase profits, and look like we walked off the cover of a fashion magazine. We need to have the right college degree, the right job, make enough money to drive the right car, live in the right neighborhood, etc., etc., etc. Now this is not a middle class issue, at all socioeconomic levels of our country there’s an isolation factor. We don’t want our neighbors to know we can’t afford groceries or that our child struggles with an eating disorder. We don’t want the school to put us on the list for donated clothes or to know that we don’t have a cell phone.

“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” 1Thessalonians 5:11

This concept that no matter who we are, or what we do, we’ll never be enough is driving our nation crazy, quite literally. I read recently that children of this generation (Millennial) experience the same level of mental stress as adults did in the 1950’s who were being institutionalized! WHAT!!!

The pressure we put ourselves and our children under is much higher than it’s ever been before. However, I still believe that it’s the isolation that causes us to break. Humans are social beings we crave interaction, intimacy and human contact. We seem to be missing these in our culture right now; in a world where we can instantaneously contact someone, send a message get an immediate response back; communication has become transactional not relational.

This vibrant young man reminded me of recent conversations I’ve had with several friends; some at church and some at work. Each of them have struggles that they don’t feel comfortable sharing. Some of them because of their position at work, some of them because they fear the reaction of those around them, and some because of the stigma attached. I myself struggle with several of these, all of which isolate me from most of the people in my life.

“If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.” 1Corinthians 12:26

I can’t tell you how many times I longed for a breakfast table with a cup of coffee and a friend just to share my thoughts with, and I know it’s not just me. I know there are literally millions of people in the world whose lives would be exponentially better because of a phone call, a drop by, or a surprise pumpkin spice latte (had to put that in there).

If each of us took just a few extra minutes during the day, let’s say 10, (everyone can find 10 minutes) to reach out to someone in our circle and let them know how important they are, that you are there for them, that they are loved and valued…you may be surprised at the result. You may be surprised to find one of your friends thanking you, because that was exactly what they needed to hear…you may be surprised to find you saved someone’s life.

“So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, …” Philippians 2:1-7

I’d love to hear from you. Come back and visit at “Connectthedotblog”.

Why did you make me like this???

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images“But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?'” Romans 9:20

Have you ever asked God this question? Why do I look this way, why am I shy, why do I have such a hard time with math, why am I weak, slow, tall, brown, blind? Why did He make me like this?

I know in my life, it often seems like the individual struggles I experience are a result of character ‘flaws’ I was born with. It’s not like I chose the way I look or the individual characteristics that form my personality. But, here I am, tall and awkward and a bit too energetic and zealous for my own good. I wish I wasn’t so tall, I wish I was smarter and had more patience, I wish I was more like the kind of people God could use…

Like Peter… an illiterate fisherman with more passion than common sense, or Paul a brilliant theologian who couldn’t see the forest for the trees, or perhaps King David, the youngest son and shepherd and adulterer. I often have to remind myself that God doesn’t make junk, He makes each of us exactly as He intended with all our rough edges and soft morals. He has a plan for each of us, that includes those ‘flaws’ that we all too often focus on. In fact, it’s our flaws that allow Him to be glorified. Because if we were perfect, How could God take credit for all that He accomplishes through us?

I have to laugh a little, to think that God made me the way that I am. I’m not sure why He made me with two left feet, how does being clumsy accomplish His purpose? I’m not sure I’m any more effective at 5′ 10″ than I would have been at 5’8″?  Or perhaps I could be more effective or useful if I were perhaps more athletic or a better student? However, He does use me, just as I am. Through my imperfections God’s perfection is made apparent. He chooses to use the least, lost and most unlikely to fulfill His purpose.

God uses the imperfect to demonstrate His Sovereignty, His Perfection. He designed me to fulfill a role in His plan and that role included all of my ‘flaws’ those areas in my life where God could demonstrate who He is through me. I may not be the bravest but He has given me the strength to endure hardships like the death of my husband and my oldest daughter thus enabling me to speak in to the lives of others who are hurting. I am not the smartest however, God has shown me great favor through incredible opportunities and people who have helped me to learn and grow professionally allowing me to do the same for others.

I have been beaten, and abused. I have been told over and over everything that is wrong with me, why I can’t succeed, how I’ll never amount to much. Well, God’s plan’s are bigger, way bigger than other peoples expectations and assumptions. He can use ANYONE and when I say anyone, I actually mean anyone. He also has a soft spot for the lost and the broken. He love the opportunity to showcase His love and grace and mercy to those who feel they least deserve it, raising them up for the world to see Him!

It has taken me the better part of 4 decades to like what I see in the mirror. I don’t really mean my image, although that too. I mean who I am…who He created me to be, an imperfect work in progress, perfectly designed to fill a role specifically created for me.

I’d love to hear from you. Come back and visit at “Connectthedotblog”.

 

 

As you have believed, so let it be done…

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Lent Lenten Sermon Roman Centurion Soldiers Jesus Christ Christian Confessional LCMS Lutheran_zpsj8ppveigWhen Jesus heard this, He was amazed and said to those following him, “Truly I tell you, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith.” Matthew 8:10

Jesus was amazed by what He just heard. A centurion, and in case you didn’t know that means a Roman, not just any Roman, a Roman soldier, a commander in fact, had shown more faith than ‘anyone in Israel’. Yes, a Roman military commander just approached Jesus and asked Him to heal his servant.

I want to provide you a little context, the Romans were the occupying force in Judea at the time. They were not liked, they knew they were not liked. The Jews of the time considered the Romans beneath them. When at all possible the avoided contact of any kind.  The Romans were significantly outnumbered in Judea however, possessed the most technologically advanced and well-trained military in the world. A Roman centurion was proven on the battlefield, and as such, put in command of 100 soldiers, men who were there to subdue the population, by force if necessary. The centurion who approached Jesus was just such a man.

Along comes Jesus, He heals the sick and the broken, causes the blind to see and the lame to walk. His fame had been spreading across Judea to the point that a Roman centurion heard what He could do, was doing for the most unlikely and unlikable people. So, one of the most disliked men in Judea approached Jesus and asks for help.

I am ALWAYS struck by who Jesus reaches out to, who He calls, who He heals. It’s NOT the elite (Paul being the exception), it’s the least, the lost and the unlikely. In the books of Matthew, Mark and Luke, Jesus says He came to heal the sick not the well. Jesus came to those that were rejected, despised and considered unclean. He came to those who had nowhere else to turn, but they had hope.

They flocked to Him, they surrounded Him, they broke through roofs to get to Him. What He had was all they wanted. A Samaritan woman, a tax collector, a leper, the possessed and the dead, if Jesus could heal them, why not a Roman servant? So, the centurion went, knowing the hatred these people felt for him, knowing he would probably be sent away but, he wasn’t. Jesus was going to come to his home.

I can only imagine what that centurion thought, “what, wait… you’ll help?” However, the centurion also knew that asking Jesus into his home could open up a whole can of problems not just for himself but for Jesus as well.

The centurion replied, “Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and that one, ‘Come,’ and he comes. I say to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.” Matthew 8: 8-9

Jesus was AMAZED by the faith of this centurion. He understood who Jesus was and what He could do. His belief in Jesus saved his servant.

Then Jesus said to the centurion, “Go! Let it be done just as you believed it would.” And his servant was healed at that moment. Matthew 8:13

A Roman Centurion, the most unlikely of candidates for Jesus mercy but, is he really that unlikely considering who Jesus is? Jesus doesn’t make the distinction; Roman, Jew, adulterer, drug addict, thief, lonely, disabled, downtrodden, abused and unloved…Jesus answered the request of a Roman soldier, one possibly responsible for the death of Jewish people, is there anything that can keep us from the love, grace and mercy of Jesus Christ?

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” Romans 8:38-39

NOTHING!

I’d love to hear from you. Come back and visit at “Connectthedotblog”.

 

Salt Free Seasoning…why?

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salt substitute“Therefore, salt is good; but if salt has become tasteless, with what will it be seasoned? “It is useless either for the soil or for the manure pile; it is thrown out. He who has ears to hear, let him hear.” Luke 13:34-35

Salt is the seasoning of life. Salt enhances flavor, dries and preserves food, salt is everywhere. In the Old Testament, salt was regarded as a necessary ingredient of daily food and as such a required part of all sacrifices offered to God (Lev 2:15). As Christians we are called to be the salt of the earth, to bring the flavor of Jesus to a tasteless world.

Think about it, we spend so much time, energy and money trying to find meaning, and purpose in our lives (flavor). We are constantly making substitutions for the real thing. We look for satisfaction in relationships, entertainment, careers, possessions and substances but we never find true fulfillment in them.

I remember when my father was told he needed to cut back on his salt intake. This was not a pleasant conversation to have with my dad because this man LOVES salt! He loves salt as much as I do. My mom had to get very creative with alternate ways of seasoning food. Our table had ‘salt alternative’ in the shaker (yuck), she used a LOT of garlic and onion and then she discovered Mrs. Dash Salt Free Seasoning. Man were we excited. It was so colorful, so well advertised, packaged beautifully and man on man did it look good on your food…it wasn’t salt.

I recall my dad saying how he liked it, that it made the food taste great, very flavorful. He put on a good face and utilized all the flavor alternatives that were presented to him, although I have to say the salt alternative was terrible. Even Mrs. Dash didn’t cut it…dad still wanted salt.

It’s really amazing to me that this is how so many people go through life, substituting anything and everything for what will truly fill them, fulfill them, restore them, and make them whole. If we are truly to be the salt of the earth, to bring Jesus to the world, then we need to be just that. Not a salt alternative, not a salt substitute… the real salty deal.

Salt is an enduring mineral that can’t spoil. We are to be the same to the world. Salt and light; flavor and good news, one can’t be separated from the other. The world is full of all kinds of ‘alternatives’ to what will truly satisfy. The word alternative has its roots in medieval Latin alternativus, meaning ‘purporting to be a superior choice to what is in general use.’ I can tell you from first hand experience, Mrs. Dash is not superior to salt, nor are worldly alternatives superior to Jesus.

If you want to enjoy all that life has for you, to be whole, restored and complete, don’t turn to an alternative that is ‘reported’ to be a superior choice, go to the truly superior choice, the only choice, Jesus!

“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding,  he[c] made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ.” Ephesians 1:7-10

I’d love to hear from you. Come back and visit at “Connectthedotblog”.

Bringing Holiness Home

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holinessYes, my title is a bit misleading, Holiness should begin at home.

I was doing some reading last night on the word Holiness. Biblically it is primarily used as a descriptor of our Lord however, I did find a definition that I believe accurately portrays our journey toward personal holiness. “Personal holiness is a work of gradual development. It is carried on under many hindrances, hence the frequent admonitions to watchfulness, prayer, and perseverance.”

This past week has been full of the activities of life; work, kids, Father’s Day, Church activities and opportunities. It struck me as Pastor was talking Sunday about the position of blessing and responsibility parents hold to be Godly examples that it is much easier for me to focus on The Father while going about my church opportunities than it is when I’m home with my family. How backwards is that!

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. 3 John 1:4

So, I shared my struggle with a friend and she too experiences similar challenges. At church we are surrounded with the sacred; our brothers and sisters in Christ, prayer, scripture, study, worship, teaching, the Holy Spirit is there…we expect him to be there. As I spend more time focused on knowing Jesus better, I experience the sacred in so many areas of my life, outside of church. But, when I get home to my place of comfort where I can relax, I let small things slide, react to quickly, in the familiarity of the environment I focus less on the example I should be.

I don’t enter my home expecting… inviting the Holy Spirit to be there. I ask him to be with me when I study the Word, pray and work on Church business, but do I ask Him to be in the midst of my conversations with my husband and children, my responses and reactions to them? I desire to have the same expectation of Jesus working in my life at home as I do everywhere else.

In Deuteronomy 4:9 it says, “… take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children—”

It’s easy to step into our old selves when we are faced with the day to day activities of life. It’s easy to let slide. My struggle is that it’s too easy with those whom I love the most, and feel the most comfortable. But, it’s those same people who need me the most to be a Godly example…my family. I should share my prayer time with my children, teaching them the importance of spending time with Jesus so He can be part of their everyday lives, daily. I need to walk into my house expecting Jesus to be there, because He is!

But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:14-17

If, indeed, personal holiness is a work of gradual development carried out under many obstacles, then I must dedicate more time to watchfulness, prayer, and perseverance in my home and with my family.

Contrary to my opening statement, holiness begins at home. Even when it feels like your words fall on deaf ears or your actions go unnoticed, seeds are planted, little eyes are watching and ears are listening. Your faithfulness and obedience will bear fruit in yourself and your family.

I’d love to hear from you. Come back and visit at “Connectthedotblog”.

Reaping and Sowing

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BrotherWord-Reaping-and-SowingLet me begin this post with a disclaimer…I’m ranting.

On Sunday our Pastor gave a very thought provoking sermon on the biblical concept of reaping and sowing. Now before you jump to conclusions, yes this is not biblical rocket science you’ve heard this topic covered from the pulpit many times, perhaps many, many times. No, it was not preached to make a point about financial giving, as it is so often presented.

The concept of reaping what you sow is so much broader than we often give credit for. This concept applies to all areas of our lives. Yes, when I said all areas I meant ALL areas! If you lie to someone, you will reap the consequences of that act. If you turn a blind eye to someone in need, that will be paid back to you as well. Our sins, our faith our best intentions done in secret and our blatant misdeeds performed in public, ALL will be returned to us…and in greater measure.

Luke 6:37-38 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

What strikes me in this scripture isn’t that we should give so we get more back, it’s that when you give, whatever you give, will come back to you, running over and poured into your lap. We are often all to quick to ask, disgruntled  “I gave Lord, I was obedient Lord, I gave that homeless person my spare change Lord…where is my blessing, why haven’t I received it back?” However, when (not if) we reap the ‘rewards’ of our sin, we blame God for allowing it to happen to us. Wait…what???

God does not create double standards, He is a just God. He looks at the intentions of our hearts and gives in good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over.

My friends, hear this scripture for what it is, Jesus lovingly instructing his children on how we should behave and conduct ourselves for Kingdom living.

Do:

Matthew 6:1-4 “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. “So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

Do not:

Mark 12:38-40 As he taught, Jesus said, “Watch out for the teachers of the law. They like to walk around in flowing robes and be greeted with respect in the marketplaces, and have the most important seats in the synagogues and the places of honor at banquets. They devour widows’ houses and for a show make lengthy prayers. These men will be punished most severely.”

Yes, there is Grace! Many of you reading this have stories you could share about the unmerited blessing of Grace, of a time when you should have reaped the harvest of your sins but God decided otherwise. The best example of this is Jesus!

However we should choose to live our lives better, giving generously of ourselves in whatever way we can.

Luke 6:37-38 (MSG) “Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults—unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Don’t condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you’ll find life a lot easier. Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity.”

Live generously, treat others as you would want to be treated, give your life to Jesus and you’ll receive back more blessing than you can possibly imagine.

I’d love to hear from you. Come back and visit at “Connectthedotblog”.

Am I Talented?

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TalentedMatthew 25:29 For to everyone who has, more will be given, and he will have abundance; but from him who does not have, even what he has will be taken away.

I have been on an all-out quest to know Jesus better. I want to be a sincere and authentic disciple, I want to know Jesus so well that sharing Him with others is just as natural to me as telling people about my children’s crazy antics. The best way for me to know Him, is to bury myself in His words (Bible) and though prayer, talking with Him daily.

I love a good story and believe it or not the Bible is full of them. Reading through the gospels is like experiencing the times and culture of Jesus day. We can glean so much from His words that resound so clearly today…yes, His words from some 2000 years ago resound today.

One of my favorite parables is that of the talents. A fav but one I still struggled to fully comprehend. In this story Jesus tells of a man who is traveling far away, so he places his possessions (talents) in the hands of three servants. To the first he gives five, the second two and the last one. The first went out and “traded with them” and made 5 more, the second took his two and gained two more, but the servant who received one talent went and buried it.

When the man returns to settle his accounts; in the instance of the first two servants he was pleased that they each had taken what they were given and increased their masters money, expanded his portfolio, enlarged his estate (you get the point). Their lord says to them, “Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.” (Matthew 25:21 & 23) Pretty amazing praise of you ask me!

Yet in the instance of the final servant, his response was very different. “His master replied, ‘You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed?  Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest. ‘So take the bag of gold from him and give it to the one who has ten bags’. ‘ For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them.”  (Matthew 25:26-29).

Seems pretty straight forward, right? Use your talents, money, gifts, faith, etc. for God and more will be given? Why then does this scripture intrigue me? Because its relevance is so real today. It’s a practical and applicable interaction with Christ!

Whatever it is that God has given you (which by the way is everything) blessings and challenges, need to be used to glorify Him! We are to take WHATEVER He has given us and increase it.

I have experienced the death of a spouse at the ripe age of 24, lived through the death of my first born from cancer. The loss I have experienced has equipped me to be comfort to those who are traversing similar roads. I have been gifted with a wonderful career that enables me to access a network of contacts and resources to help with finding jobs, medical care and so much more. The blessings and the pain can be used to grow the Kingdom…my ‘talents’ are plentiful and have nothing to do with my income.

This parable isn’t a diatribe on giving your money or a treatise on making sure that you are serving in your church; as it is often used. This is Jesus telling us that EVERYONE has been given something they can use to glorify God. Everyone has been given a means to reach out to those around them. EVERYONE is equipped right where they are to expand His Kingdom.

Not everyone is a great preacher or evangelist, not everyone has been blessed financially or with wonderful musical skills… everyone has been gifted… what you choose to do with that gift is up to you. You can use it to increase the kingdom or take your light and hide it under a basket.

I’d love to hear from you. Come back and visit at “Connectthedotblog”.

Your Greatest Weapon…Your Smile

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smile-sflb.jpg

You never know the effect a smile can have on those around you.
I was reminded this week of a time, early on in my career, where I was asked to fill in for a colleague with our CEO. He had a terrible reputation within the administrative pool. In fact it was not unusual for a newer admin or a temp to leave his office crying. Unfortunately, it was a regular occurrence.
When I was asked to fill in for a whole week while someone was on vacation, I was terrified… but determined. No one could be that mean…right?
I showed up my first day and was quickly (very quickly) shown the ropes and left on my own. I sat in my chair and thought…what do I do now? I stood up, put on my best smile and went to his door. I knocked and was quickly reprimanded with a “What?” Entering the room still wearing my smile, I asked if there was anything he needed or if I could do anything for him. Slowly, he looked up from his computer. I think the unfamiliar voice threw him, (he may have actually forgotten his assistant was out for the week). Looking at me he thanked me and stated he would let me know if he needed anything. I wished him a good morning and went back to my desk. I made sure to repeat this every time he called me on the intercom (which was VERY often), and asked me into his office to take his dictated communication.
When it was time for me to leave for the day, I smiled and asked if there was anything he needed before I left, wished him a good evening, and let him know I’d see him in the morning.
Here’s where it gets good. The next morning I was in the office before him and as he walked by my desk he stopped to wish me a good morning, politely asking if I would get his coffee.  I fixed it, per his request, brought it in along with his paper and periodicals, pages marked with tabs where I thought there was something that related to the business or might be of interest to him.
I spent the week exceeding expectations with my work, but more importantly, with my behavior. Yes he was old school, I mean taking dictation…who does that?! However, he started including me in conversations, meetings and asking my opinion. He joked with me and taught me. Within one week, his demeanor had changed to the point that others noticed.
I spent the next several years working for this organization and I can say that each time there was a life event, he noted it. When my daughter was diagnosed with Cancer, he gave me his personal guarantee that my job was secure no matter what and that I should reach out to him if my family needed anything.
You can be assured that each time he needed someone to fill in, it was my line he called. If there was a project, new initiative or opportunity, I was included. He helped to shape my young career in ways others could not. This brilliant, stern, dry humored, generous man passed this week. I am sad that the world lost him, perhaps without really knowing or understanding him. I am so grateful for the time I was able to spend with him.
I remember those years working for and with him with a smile on my face. The same smile I greeted him with each day. Do I think that this will always happen when we put our best selves forward? No. Unfortunately the world is still full of people who have to make others feel less, for them to feel more. However, there are also those who have goodness inside of them and might just need someone help them bring it back out.

I’d love to hear from you. Come back and visit at  “Connectthedotblog”.

 

Go Brush You Teeth!

bstuetze

20170521_084340.jpgIt’s starts as a normal request, “please go brush your teeth.” Then a few minutes later, “Did you brush your teeth?” After a wee bit longer, “how many times do I have to ask, go brush your teeth.” Before too long it is more of a declaration of war than a simple request.

Finally they emerge from the bathroom and you take a deep satisfying breath. Then when you go to give them a kiss before they leave the house…the truth is revealed! WOW, they never brushed their teeth, they wet the brush, smeared toothpaste on it and everything…with the amount of time they spent making it look like they did the job, they could have actually done the job! What the heck!

This is not an uncommon occurrence with our children, we fight the important battles with them, and for each child it can be different; the rest we chalk up to acceptable losses. There is one arena however that this kind of behavior is way more detrimental…in the workplace.

Do you have an employee, co-worker or even supervisor who seems to be always busy but rarely seems to produce results? Are they constantly saying, “yes I’ll do that right away“, “I‘ll get right on that“, “as soon as I get back to the office I’ll take care of it“, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you wanted ME to do that“, and yet whenever you ask again, because it hasn’t been done, you get the same responses?

As an individual occurrence, this can happen. We are living and working in a world that moves so fast, things can and do fall off our radar. However if this is habitual it can be an indicator of root causes that need to be addressed.

Our children are…well children. They forget, they’d rather play, they don’t understand the consequences of their inaction. That is why we as parents much teach them and hold them accountable and give them boundaries to help them safely navigate their world. We don’t give up on getting them to brush their teeth, cause it’s just too hard. Trust me a 7 year old needing a root canal is much harder, and yes that did happen to my son. He was VERY good at finding ways to not brush his teeth, but he is much better now.

As a manager/supervisor/leader the lines aren’t always as clear. We have to show the way, teach the way, then get out of the way. After that, we have to take the time to inspect what we expect and hold them accountable. What does that mean exactly? That’s not always so black and white.

When I hold a meeting, it’s always a working meeting. If there is a meeting to schedule, a follow up email to be sent, a phone call to be made…I make it right then and there. When one of my team comes to me and asks me to make a call or send a note, I do with them in my office watching and listening. They see my actions, I show them how to do it, they see my results.  When I delegate a task to someone on my team, I set the expectation for when it should be done and that I will follow up. I don’t micromanage them asking every 2 hours if it’s been done. I follow up on the results; “I know you were reaching out to Joe yesterday, how did the call go and when is our follow  up meeting?”

As each member of the team finds their rhythm, I follow up less, getting out of their way allowing them the autonomy to make great things happen. Some don’t find that rhythm, and my follow-up does become micromanagement, like harping on my children to get their teeth brushed. If you find that going to work is like dealing with your children at home, then you have some work to do. You either need to set the appropriate expectations, show them the way, so you can get out of the way or start sending people to timeout.

If you have some of these challenges, I’d love to hear from you. Come back and visit at  “Connectthedotblog”.